I have pulled back a lot from writing recently for personal reasons, which is why I’ve been mostly quiet on here and on social media. But something happened in the literary world, and I have to address it. 

Neil Gaiman was never one of my heroes. The works of his I read were okay but not much my thing. I still used to admire him, though. His ability to consistently write books that so many people flocked to, how much of a stand up guy he seemed to be online, I thought I wanted that. 

If his actions are what it takes to be popular, I want nothing to do with it. I’m a victim of SA, and not just once. I’ve had grown men use me, use my body, as if my wants and needs and desires didn’t matter. I’ve written poetry about some of it, to try to detox my soul from the experiences forced upon me by others. The first story in the Vulture article was so traumatizing I had to talk about it in therapy and figure out how to deal with how badly it left me triggered. 

My feelings, my experiences, don’t override what his victims experienced. I can sympathize, empathize, but this isn’t about me. My heart is absolutely broken, knowing just the first story in the Vulture article. But they experienced so much worse. 

My works deal with a variety of triggers, not because I was the perpetrator but in a lot of instances I was the victim. It’s why I welcome people to reach out and ask, and why I’m so happy to accommodate them. I’ve had books accidentally trigger me and spent the following week spiraling until I could get a grip on things again. It doesn’t always make me DNF, and it’s not every time with the same triggers either. But I do know that having those warnings beforehand can help immensely so I’m always happy to accommodate folks that want to read my work but worry about the potential content within. 

If you’re a victim of SA, like myself and many others, you don’t have to suffer in silence. Organizations like RAINN in the US have programs to help people get back on their feet and away from their abusers. 

I don’t have pretty words to make it better or make people not traumatized. I do know that SA is never okay, and it’s never the victims fault, and that you don’t have to suffer in silence.

RAINN’s services, including for men who have been the victims of SA: https://rainn.org/resources