jpagaduan.com

Category: mental illness

  • Anxiety

    Each new hurdle I cross when it comes to publishing brings its own special brand of anxiety. It’s a mixture of imposter syndrome and cognitive dissonance, because all I heard growing up was what a failure I was. That I’d never amount to anything. And every time I meet a new goal, it comes with…

  • Dreams

    Recently I woke up a couple hours earlier than I usually do because of a dream I had. The dream itself wasn’t anything particularly disturbing. It followed weird logic but dreams tend to, so it wasn’t that. It was more that it was almost what normal used to be like. It wasn’t anything that ever…

  • Learning to Outline

    The bulk of “The Guardians of Gaia” (the series that “Savior of the Damned” kicks off) has been written or outlined, and so I’m taking a break. It still has a ton of work that needs doing, but mostly it’s all there and I’m happy with the results. It’s been making me think of outlines, however,…

  • Suffering and Art

    No, you don’t need to suffer to produce art. That’s a misconception plenty of people have, and it’s a dangerous one. It prevents people from getting help, for one thing. But is it even true to begin with?  I’m mentally ill. I’m mentally ill because I had a traumatic childhood, and as both a teenager…

  • Word Counts

    My daily goal is 2000 words. A lot of the time I can make it, or even surpass it, but sometimes I fall short. Maybe my mental health isn’t the greatest that day. Maybe one of my chronic illnesses is acting up. Maybe my focus isn’t what it could be (and caffeine can only help…

  • Writing Process

    The only way I can get anything done is to break it into as small pieces as I possibly can. Thinking about all that goes into novel writing is overwhelming, even as I round up on finishing the first draft of my current novel. It’s so easy to get paralyzed when I consider everything, I…

  • Resting

    Part of the creative process is knowing both when to rest and how. Resting recharges our batteries, and much like sleep helps refresh us so we can continue to do the creative things we do. The problem is, how do you do that?  When I was growing up resting was when you just did nothing.…

  • Rough Drafts

    I’m on the last leg of the drafting process that will take me from a rough draft to a first draft. I’ve seen arguments against using the term “rough draft” as it’s still a first, but the reality is that, at least for me, the rough draft is in fact a rough draft.   To…

  • Restless Thinking

    I haven’t beaten Tales of Vesperia yet. I have about fifteen or so hours left (depending on grinding should I get stuck and need more levels) but it’s not holding my attention anymore. It’s not that I don’t like it; it’s actually one of my favorite games I’ve ever played at this point in the…

  • Breaks

    Breaks are a necessary part of life, something you can’t get around needing at least on occasion. But breaks when it comes to writing are hard, at least for me. When I’m at the height of my writing I can easily do more than 5000 words a day (though the usual number is between 2000-3000.)…