I had writer’s block for a while. No idea what to write about. I knew I needed to rest for a while, and I did. I read. I engaged in some of my favorite hobbies. I watched TV. And every time I tried to come back to writing, I found myself stuck. The story seemed off, so I switched to a different one. And that one seemed off as well. So, I did other things. I did my bare-bones outline style for other works. I worked on short stories. I felt like I was getting back in the game. But every time I returned to one of the stories I stalled out on, I stalled again.  

With no idea what was going on or what I should do, I walked away again. And did some thinking. Busted out my trusty notebook and current favorite pen and did some troubleshooting on aspects of The Guardians of Gaia I did need to fix. My last beta reader got back to me during this time and I went through and made the suggested edits. I started other documents based on personal requests of his as well.  

And then I went back to the novella I was stuck on. And realized I had a problem. I didn’t need some of the characters I had been using. You see, Eldren was always welcome in Phaedra’s world, but a lot of what Eldren goes through himself, she’s not there because she’s off doing whatever it is she needs to do. Because some things only Eldren can do, unless he has other Elves with him. It’s not that Phaedra doesn’t care, it’s that he deals with things she doesn’t understand sometimes, and sometimes those things are easier with people you don’t have to explain everything about. It’s something they had worked out but forgotten to tell me.  

So I sat down at the novella with my fresh perspective and figured out what I needed to do. It was a story about the Elves, so I had to cut the humans. The restructuring wasn’t hard once I knew what to look for. The humans didn’t contribute a whole lot, they were just bystanders in a world that they didn’t know or understand. Their bits of dialogue were small and inconsequential, easily assigned to either Eldren or Merethyl if I wanted to keep them at all. But they were the pieces that didn’t fit.  

Unfortunately, I have to rewrite enough I just opened a new document. Some of it I can salvage but not all of it, and to save my own sanity I decided to start over with a blank slate and import what I wanted to keep.  

It’s not as easy with the novel I got stuck on, but the problems there are different. The bulk of the A plot is fine, I just need to rework it to add in things that are necessary to make a cohesive story. But a lot of the B plot I removed to make into two other novellas. Those stories needed to be told separately, and at a different point in the timeline. What I stalled on, however, was what to do with a partially completed manuscript.  

I decided there too I’d open a new document, cut out the parts I can salvage as I come to them, and I’ll write a brand-new B plot. The book will be better this way. The points I wanted to happen earlier will, and the entire story will be better for it. But it sets me back too. I played around with a few ideas, but I think importing it bit by bit as I can and writing brand new material for the stuff I can’t is the way to go. It will take time and effort and no small amount of patience, but for the health of the story it’s needed. And I’m okay with that.  

Sometimes as writers, we need to make cuts to our manuscripts for the overall health of the story we’re trying to tell. We might be hopelessly attached to it, it might be the most beautiful prose we’ve ever come across, but if it doesn’t serve a purpose it needs to go. This is what writers mean when they talk about killing your darlings. It’s not about the death of characters, it’s cutting out extraneous pieces that don’t serve a purpose to make the entire work shine. It’s okay to be sad about it, and my suggestion is to keep it in a separate document so you’ll always have it to look over. But if it doesn’t have a point it needs to go. In the case of the novella, I needed to cut out the characters I love but that didn’t have a role to play in the story. In the case of the novel, I had cannibalized enough of it and needed to fix what was left bad enough, that I’m facing an almost total rewrite. It’s frustrating because I poured so much love and effort into that novel, but for the sake of the story it needs it. The story as written would have been okay, but now it will be that much better. That’s why I’m ultimately okay with it. Taking these extra steps will give my story a boost. It will be better for the effort I’m taking now.  

If you struggle to kill your darlings, it’s okay. We’ve all been there. This leg of the journey hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it. And it will be worth it for you too. Just take the time you need to process. Walk away for a bit if you have to. Mourn like your heart is breaking. The story will be there when you’re ready, after all.