Apparently book writing hangovers are a real thing. And apparently that’s what I’ve been experiencing since putting Savior of the Damned up for pre-order.
It was no small feat to get here. I have devoted so much of the last two years to this it’s still a bit unreal I got here at all. I feel cut adrift, directionless, unsure what my next move should be. I know what my next project will be, of course; the problem is I struggle with transitions. But there is no avoiding this transition, and I have to let my mind do its thing to prepare for the next project.
I have, of course, still been writing. A word here or there, planning on other projects. I have some group ones I did a bit of work in, but those don’t have deadlines yet. But I haven’t been able to shift my focus yet because Savior of the Damned ate up so much of my time. Waking thoughts as I got ready in the morning. Afternoon thoughts as I cooked or cleaned or did errands. Evening thoughts as I relaxed on the couch. There were gaps where I didn’t write of course, because a beta reader was going through it or I was letting it rest before the next round of revisions, but it never fully left my mind.
But now, it’s done. There’s no more left to write, to edit. I’m just finishing up the final details while preparing my next move. And it’s left me with conflicted feelings. I’m, obviously, excited that so much time and effort I’ve sunk into storycraft is finally bearing fruit. But it’s also kind of a hollow feeling. Savior of the Damned took up so much of my waking time that now that it’s done, I don’t know what to fill the void with. I have other works that are in various stages of completion I could focus on. A short story collection from Patreon stories maybe. Or that other short story collection that’s also half finished. I could work on the next novel, or a different one. Or I could focus on essays and poetry.
Regardless of the choices before me, I do know what will come next. Even with all the options available, I know what will devour my time next. It’s just a matter of getting my brain to transition from the last project to the new one. My brain is historically not good with transitioning from one activity to another. That was why it was so hard to get writing done. I had to build a schedule around hacking my own brain to make it cooperate. And having that schedule helps. I know what comes first, middle, and last in my day, and I’m pretty good about dealing with last minute changes these days too. But this isn’t something that I’ve had to do before. Sure, I released a short story collection as well as a poetry collection, but those weren’t a novel. A novel is a different beast, at least for me. It takes up more time and effort, for one. I can write short stories and poetry in between paragraphs in a novel, after all. But in order to write a novel, that has to be my only longform project. Short stories help break up the monotony. Same with poetry, and essays. But it’s such a monumental task to split my time between novels that I have to focus on it almost exclusively.
There are novel adjacent things I can do, of course. Light worldbuilding isn’t bad, for when I can’t put words to paper. Outlines for future works aren’t remotely the same for me. Brainstorming when I get a new idea helps purge the idea without distracting me as well. I’ve even written partial drafts while waiting on feedback before. But that worked because it was the next chapter of the story, so to speak (even if I did just throw most of that book out.)
But now, it’s done. There’s nothing left to do, really, beyond marketing and promotion. That at least I started arranging prior to finishing Savior of the Damned, and that’s probably what will eat up my time for the next while. But it’s not the same. It’s not something that will eat up my brain space to the exclusion of most everything else. Having that thing to hyper focus on helps my mental health a lot, because it gives me something to actively think about that isn’t detrimental. If I have a problem to solve, I’m your guy. Give me something that needs sorting out in some way, or some kind of project, and I do pretty alright for the most part. It’s those spaces between projects that my mental health tends to take a nosedive, so I try my best to stay busy within reason. This isn’t so easy to sort out though. Because what I need isn’t to jump immediately into the next book. I need to let my brain let go of the last book before focusing on the next longterm project.
But that’s where I’m stuck. I know what I want to fill the void with next. I have my next project already set up and waiting to go. It’s just a matter of getting my brain to let go of Savior so I can start working on a new project. And having not been here before, I’m just blindly groping around in the dark, because I haven’t found the flashlight yet. Prior experience helps here. Twenty years experience with knitting has taught me to expect this dip, because it happens then too. Not to mention the other novels I’ve completed in the past.
So what am I doing, then? Well, whatever I feel like. I’ve made some executive decisions regarding the next project, decisions I couldn’t make lightly. I’ve gotten some behind the scenes work done on it as well. I’ve also outlined some new short stories. But my brain is still very much stuck on Savior still, so I’m not forcing it. When I’m fully ready I’ll make the switch. In the meantime I might leave writing to something I do on impulse instead of regularly, so I can bask in the glory of having finally made it this far.